


Pretty Baby Beauty Queen

by swagnushammersmith



Series: Pretty Baby Beauty Queen [1]
Category: LazyTown
Genre: Alternate Universe, Beauty Pageants, Enemies to Lovers, Gen, M/M, Robbie Rotten is a Dad, Rottenella is Ella, Sportacus is A Good Dad, Sportacus is Alex in this fic, based on some old LT lore, bc i cannot in good conscience believe someone in a real life situation would be named sportacus, i love all the lazytown aus time to make my own, title named after a deap valley song bc i can't think of another one, unbetaed
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-15
Updated: 2016-12-26
Packaged: 2018-09-08 20:33:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8860042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/swagnushammersmith/pseuds/swagnushammersmith
Summary: The beauty pageant circuit was not a place for the weak of heart, mind or soul. No matter the division or category, one had to be fully prepared and in tip-top shape if they were to be the best. Pageantry required style, grace, and most importantly, a fiery passion. If one didn’t end up with at least one crown before adolescence, then life may as well have no meaning.
 
These were just a few lessons that Robbie tried to impart on his daughter Ella. Unfortunately, it seemed that Ella didn’t care much for pageants or the social status attached to winning one. The little effort she ever did put forth allowed her to place third or fourth every time, but she’s never won a single crown.





	1. It'll Take Two

**Author's Note:**

> I dedicate this fic to my good friend Ferg. Fcku Yuo fro putting this idea in my head bc now here I am writing it into existence. Before we begin, I want to [refer to that bit of LazyTown lore I mention in my tags.](http://swagnusscheving.tumblr.com/post/154432993674/sportacusirl-some-interesting-things-from-an) Enough talk for now.

The beauty pageant circuit was not a place for the weak of heart, mind or soul. No matter the division or category, one had to be fully prepared and in tip-top shape if they were to be the best. Pageantry required style, grace, and most importantly, a fiery passion. If one didn’t end up with at least one crown before adolescence, then life may as well have no meaning.

 

These were just a few lessons that Robbie tried to impart on his daughter Ella. Unfortunately, it seemed that Ella didn’t care much for pageants or the social status attached to winning one. The little effort she ever did put forth allowed her to place third or fourth every time, but she’s never won a single crown.

 

Ella was a natural, Robbie knew it. If she just… put in more effort she would already have a crown. The other girls weren’t just coasting by on being just good enough. The other girls actually listened to their parents when they pushed them.

 

Especially that pink-haired overly bubbly gumdrop Stephanie. She always managed to make Top 3 in the pageants, and already had a few crowns! And all her dad had to do was pat her back and tell her, “Just have fun and do your best!” Why wasn’t it that easy with Ella?

 

“Dad, I’m eleven years old,” Ella deadpanned to him one day. She was trying to draw in peace, when Robbie burst in her room, prattling on about another pageant coming up. “Don’t you think I’m a little old for all this pageant nonsense?”

 

The earth rumbled from the horrified gasp that came out of Robbie. “How could you say that?” he whispered. 

 

Ella rolled her eyes, truly not seeing the big deal. “I just don’t care about being in pageants anymore, dad.”

 

“But you’re so good at it, Ella! If you applied yourself a little more you can get a crown!”

 

“You know who’s actually good? That Stephanie girl--”

 

“DON’T!” Robbie put a silencing finger to Ella’s lips. “We don’t speak of the enemy in this house. It only lets them grow stronger.”

 

Ella pulled away from her father’s hand. “I doubt it.”

 

Robbie shook his head. “Never mind that. But you know you’d have a crown or two right now if you just pushed yourself a little harder.”

 

“Dad,” Ella huffed, “I don’t want a crown. I want to have fun, draw, literally anything else but do another pageant!”

 

“Ella, sweetie,” he kneeled to her level, putting his hands on her shoulders, “pageantry will open so many doors of opportunity for you, I don’t want to see you throw that away.”

 

Ella looked reluctantly to the side. “I just…” She sighed. “I guess you’re right.” 

 

Robbie beamed and patted her shoulders with glee. “That’s my girl!”

 

She sat back as her father got back on his feet and started up again about the next pageant that she would regrettably have to enter. It was a competition where the contestants would be paired together, and the top two pairs would perform solo talent pieces to determine the winner.

 

It was gonna be another cycle of misery for Ella. 

 

\---

 

The audition process was the same as any other pageant; walk in, sign in, pay the submission fee, and wait to be called to talk with the judges one-on-one.

 

“Honey, you should do your stretches,” Robbie said while they waited against the wall. “I can’t have you being all stiff when you show the judges your walk.” Ella huffed as she walked out to an open area of the floor and started stretching. “That’s my girl.”

 

She should be staking out the competition, too, Robbie thought to himself. But he figured that there’d be plenty of time for that, and let her do her stretches. He was tossing around potential ideas for what Ella could wear in whatever categories were thrown at them when his periphery caught sight of a mass of pink. He looked up and-- eugh-- that Stephanie girl was walking towards Ella. No amount of silently willing her to get away from Ella could stop her from sitting next to her and stretching with her. Sigh.

 

“I think our daughters are getting along quite well,” said a voice from behind Robbie, scaring the living daylights out of him.

 

The shock turned him around and -- ugh, Stephanie’s dad. Robbie knew him. Well, he didn’t know him, but he saw him around a lot. What a smug asshole he was, cheering on his pink daughter… wearing… copius amounts of blue….. That stupid mustache….

 

Robbie didn’t know what dirty, underhanded tricks this guy pulled to make Stephanie win all of the time. He wanted to know, so he could expose him for the fraud that he was, because Ella was leaps and bounds more talented and graceful than--

 

“I’ve seen you around before, but I don’t think we’ve formally met,” Stephanie’s dad greeted, holding out his hand. “I’m Alex! You’re Robbie, right?”

 

Robbie looked down at the offending hand in front of him. “Yeah, I am,” he simply replied.

 

Alex awkwardly laughed and stared for a few seconds, pulling his hand away. He stuttered a bit, before asking, “Is this your first teams pageant too?”

 

Why did this guy ask so many questions??? What was his angle? Was he doing an investigative piece on Robbie? Was he trying to expose him for something? Robbie wasn’t gonna stand for it.

 

Before he could make an insulting retort back to Alex, Ella walked up to Robbie. “Dad, can I have my water bottle please?” she asked. Robbie fumbled for his bag before pulling out a Sailor Moon water bottle and handing it to Ella. While she drank, Robbie noticed Alex walk up to Stephanie and handing her a water bottle. Copycat.

 

“Ella… Glay-per?” called out a pageant official. Robbie and Ella huffed in frustration.

 

“It’s Glæpur!” they yelled back.

 

“Glæ- like ‘eye!’” Robbie added.

 

The official shrugged in a vague motion of “I’m sorry.” Ella beelined for the door he stood by, ready to slay the audition process. If Ella were inexperienced, Robbie would encouragingly pat her on the back and tell her to break a leg. But Ella would nail this, as she did every other pageant.

 

\---

 

“Congratulations to the 26 contestants that were selected in the age 10-12 division,” one of the pageant officials announced. 

 

Robbie stood back with the other parents. His arms were crossed and he was feeling smug because Ella made it in like she always did. She stood among the other contestants, wearing a sign with the number five on it.

 

“We’ll now be assigning the teams by random selection,” the official continued. Another official walked up with a fishbowl filled with papers in his arms. “When your numbers are called, please step forward.”

 

Two by two, the children walked forward as they were called. Robbie only hoped that Ella wouldn’t get paired with an underperformer, or even someone with a pushy parent who thought they knew everything. The first thing people had to understand was that Ella was a star. She shined brighter than the rest of these hacks. If only she realized it herself--

 

“The remaining contestants, number five and number eleven will be paired together. Good luck to all of the contestants, and we will see you in the pageant!”

 

Robbie looked up when he heard Ella’s number. He couldn’t unfortunately see who she was paired with, because the scramble of parents and children blocked his view of her. He weaved through everyone with a little difficulty. Once he spotted her, he walked to her.

 

But he noticed the number eleven taped to the chest of her partner talking to her.

 

He gulped.

 

Ella was paired with Stephanie.


	2. Fraternizing with the Enemy

“Dad, can you stop pacing for five minutes?” Ella said, sitting at the kitchen table. “I thought you were gonna help me come up with some ideas for the pageant.”

 

“I am, I am,” Robbie said, waving a hand dismissively at Ella. “I’m thinking.”

 

“You’ve been having an internal crisis because I got paired with Stephanie and you’re unsure of how to handle it.”

 

It took every fiber of Robbie’s being to hold in the, “SHUT UP!” that wanted to unleash itself at that comment. He would hate to admit it, but Ella was right. Ella and Stephanie working together? They were sworn enemies! Ella could not carry her to the top only to get shirked of the crown again.

 

They were unfortunately stuck in a situation of collaborating with the enemy. Robbie already tried bribing the officials into letting Ella switch. Unfortunately, that exchange went a little something like:

 

“Have you ever worn a custom-designed-for-you Robbie Glæpur outfit?”

 

“No, I haven’t.”   
  
“Would you like to?”

 

“Wh- You’re offering it to me straight up?”   
  


“Yes. On the condition that you switch my daughter’s assigned partner with someone else.”

 

“Sorry, Mr. Glæpur. As tempting as that sounds, I have to stick to pageant regulations.”

 

“But--!”

 

“Have a nice day.”

 

How could a custom designed outfit from him  _ not  _ persuade someone? He was Robbie Glæpur, local design  **_legend_ ** _! _

 

“Dad, please stop sniveling and help me come up with some ideas for this pageant,” Ella called, breaking Robbie from his train of thought. He sighed, and slumped over to the dining room table, where Ella sat with a journal in front of her.

 

This was how they worked for every pageant; enter the pageant, gather the categories for the pageant, and brainstorm together. Ella would moreso think out loud while Robbie sketched out ideas for her (which he would later sew together for her). That was a dynamic that Robbie was satisfied and comfortable with. Pageantry was the thing that Ella and Robbie bonded over, could really express themselves through.

 

But now  _ Alex  _ and  _ Stephanie  _ had to throw a wrench into their process. Granted, sure they didn’t do it on purpose. But now once Ella and Robbie were finished brainstorming they’d have to consult the other two about their ideas. Robbie didn’t do well working with others outside of his daughter.

 

The downward spiral that was Robbie’s thought process instantly perked up, as he had the most devious and brilliant idea.

 

“That’s it!” he said, putting his pencil down and startling Ella a little bit. “I don’t know why I didn’t think of it sooner!”

 

“Think of… what?” Ella asked.

 

Robbie held his daughter by her shoulders, smile on his face. “I know how we can win this time! We carry those crown-stealing hacks to the top, but we destroy them along the way.” He turned to face her. “Destroy them… from the  _ inside… _ ”

 

Ella sighed, too exhausted by the whole prospect to explain to her dad that Stephanie and Alex can’t be hacks if they’ve been winning pageants. She just whispered a, “Sure, dad, let’s just get back to brainstorming,” hoping that would sate him for the time being.

 

Thankfully it did, as pages of sketches flowed from Robbie’s pencil.

 

\---

 

“Dad can you please stop grumbling, we’re in a public space,” Ella asked. She eagerly held the journal of ideas that she and her dad put together, while Robbie not-so-eagerly trailed behind her. While he was excited about the prospect of destroying the enemy from the inside, he still wasn’t thrilled about having to fraternize with the enemy.

 

They were meeting Alex and Stephanie at a restaurant so that they could share their ideas. Robbie was certain that no ideas could be better than what he and Ella put together. The categories for this pageant were Casual Wear, Contestant-Selected Theme, Flowery Formal, and Talent. Of course the talent section wouldn’t have to be shared, as that would determine the winner of the overall competition. 

 

Robbie cleared the grimace off of his face the best he could when they entered the restaurant. Ella cheerfully informed the hostess that there were people already waiting for them, as they could see Alex and Stephanie from the entryway. 

 

Ella eagerly took a seat at the table across from Stephanie, leaving Robbie to sit across from Alex.

 

“I’m really excited to be working with you, Ella!” Stephanie said, all too cheerfully for Robbie’s taste. There was no way that this child could be this bubbly and pink, literally inside and out, at all hours of the day. It was humanly impossible.

 

“Hello, Robbie,” Alex greeted, and Robbie turned to throw a polite smile his way. 

 

“So,” Robbie said, clapping his hands together, “what ideas did you have in mind for this contest?”

 

“Ah, wasting no time, I see!” Alex said, and he materialized some papers from under the table.

 

Robbie took the papers and closely scrutinized the ideas that laid before him. There were a few different ideas scribbled under a few columns of headings labeled, “CASUAL,” “THEME,” and “FLOWERY FORMAL.”

 

He wanted his gut reaction to be one of disgust. However, he could not deny that Alex and Stephanie had some good ideas. He slammed the papers on the table, startling everyone.

 

“Not bad, I guess,” Robbie simply offered after a few moments of awkward silence. “I’m not sure about the western idea for the theme category, though.”

 

“Well, these are just ideas, we’re just building a foundation right now,” Stephanie offered. “Can we see your ideas?”

 

Robbie nodded toward Ella, who handed them their journal. Alex and Stephanie marveled for a moment at the fanciness of the journal; leather bound and dyed deep purple, with a fancy print embossed on the cover.

 

“I almost feel bad opening this, it’s so cool!” Stephanie said. She allowed herself to open it, however, and leaf through the pages. She and Alex commented on the ideas more openly than Robbie did, pointing out specifics of what they liked, and what they weren’t sure would work.

 

Soon after ordering their food, their plans were set into place. Robbie sketched the final drafts of ideas into his journal and tucked it away into his bag. Stephanie and Ella fell into their own conversation of things that eleven-year-old girls get excited about. Leaving Robbie essentially alone with… Alex.

 

“So,” Alex prompted, wanting to be friendly, “I’ve seen you around the pageant circuit a lot.”

 

“Same here,” Robbie said, maintaining a stiffness in his voice and posture.

 

“How long have you been involved?”

 

Robbie sighed. “Ella’s been competing since she was a little girl, she’s amazing at it.”

 

“Stephanie’s competed for not as long as Ella, I think,” Alex said, smiling. “When we moved into the area a few years ago was when Stephanie started doing pageants.”

 

Robbie clenched his fist under the table, because of course the nemesis wouldn’t be as experienced and yet still somehow come out on top. But another thing stuck out to Robbie. From the way Alex was speaking…

 

“Where did you move from?” he asked, curious.

 

“Upper Michigan,” Alex said, “I was living with family in that area when I adopted Stephanie. Before that, though, I came from Iceland.”

 

Ah, that explained a couple of things.

 

“What’s over here that Iceland doesn’t have?” Robbie asked, sipping from his mug of tea.

 

“A lot of loyal clients of mine moved to the States, and I figured--”

 

“Food’s here!” Stephanie announced, and sure enough, their waitress approached, trays in hand.

 

“Dad,” Stephanie asked once the food was placed, “can I invite Ella to my birthday party?”

 

“I don’t see why not,” Alex said. “So long as her dad’s okay with it.”

 

Expectant looks turned Robbie’s way, waiting for an answer. He didn’t want to  _ further  _ fraternize with the enemy, but the logical part of his brain reminded him, that he can’t destroy the enemy if he didn’t get close to them.

 

“Well,” he started, after a moment, “I don’t see the harm in her going.”

 

“Thanks, dad!” Ella said, hugging him from the side.

 

“Don’t mention it, sweetheart.” He pat her on the head while she held him. An adorable picture, he thought to himself.

 

The meal and conversation carried on. Robbie mostly quietly sat back and observed as Alex and Stephanie interacted and told stories, with Ella expressing outright awe at their experiences. Robbie felt it was downright show-offy, the way they talked about their summer vacations hiking and canoeing and camping in forests and mountains. Those Meanswells acted like they were special or something because of all of that and a few crowns.

 

They might be special… but Robbie and Ella were cosmic deities compared to them.

 

However, Robbie did feel that this whole operation would be a little interesting, if nothing else. And he was going to enjoy himself every minute of the ride.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Crisis, Robbie Rotten is the biggest baby but we love him <3
> 
> I have more ideas for this series that I'm mega excited about. This was supposed to be a one-off fic but then God came down and punched me in the brain with the ideas.
> 
> [Main Tumblr](http://blackmetalbuckybarnes.tumblr.com), [LazyTown Sideblog](http://swagnusscheving.tumblr.com)

**Author's Note:**

> Screech @ me on Tumblr. I'll screech back within three to five business days. My main is [ BlackMetalBuckyBarnes](http://blackmetalbuckybarnes.tumblr.com) and my Lazytown sideblog is [SwagnusScheving.](http://swagnusscheving.tumblr.com)


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